As I have been preparing for my 31 days of structured prayer journaling writing project, I’ve been reviewing some of my old prayer journals. Looking back and seeing all God has done for me has been quite enjoyable.
During my review of 2010, I noted that God resolved some significant questions for me. I thought I would share three of them with you today!
Why Does God Speak So Clearly to Me About My Job Changes?
If you were to look at some of my YouTube videos you would notice how often I speak about hearing God when it comes to job changes. Of all of the things God speaks to me, it seemed as if I had laser-like ability to hear Him when it came to when to or not to make job changes.
Now that I no longer work publicly, which is a miracle in itself, I think I understand why God had spoken to me so clearly about job changes – it is so I would be good at recognizing His leading and confirmation for when He led me to leave the workforce. I journaled about this realization on April 25, 2010 (before I actually left the workforce!)
Leaving your job is a big deal, right??? I had wanted to work in ministry full-time, but I also needed an income. I am still wishy-washy about not working a public job sometimes, and I have to go back to what God has done to stair-step me down from public work and into full-time ministry, which has been nicely documented in my structured prayer journals. It has provided me with some special insight that continues to keep my head on straight (well, most of the time).
Why didn’t God give me a heads up that He would call me into ministry?
For many years, I have fussed at God (am I allowed to say that???) about not telling me that I would end up doing ministry work when I was young! Why didn’t He clue me in??? I would have finished college earlier, changed my major and went to seminary. But, I was 27, married with kids, and working when God decided to reveal His plans to me. Imagine my surprise! I felt ill-prepared for this. So, for about 18 years, I berated God over this lack of pertinent information.
According to my structured prayer journal on May 16, 2010, I felt that God had finally answered my question of why He waited so long. And of course, I was partly to blame.
He immediately took my mind back to when I was about 17 years old, sitting on the hood of a car at a party with my friends. I was feeling the conviction of the Holy Spirit over my actions and activities, but I didn’t want to pay Him any attention.
I remember telling God that when I was married, with kids and about 30 years (a time in my life when I was sure that I will be bored out of my mind), that I would then serve Him, but for right now, I just wanted to enjoy life.
As the good Gentleman He is, He obliged.
He came back to me after I was married, with two kids and ready to focus on Him, and called me into ministry. He certainly did not have to honor my haughty teenage wish, but praise God for His grace, He did. Now instead of feeling disappointed in God for not calling me sooner, I am now grateful that He chose to call me at all.
Why can’t God give me a do-over?
Because I am so remorseful over how I acted in high school and college, I often begged God for a do-over. Of course He could have absolutely took me back in time to allow me to make some fixes; it would have been a small thing for Him to orchestrate. As crazy as it sounds, I was serious; I really wanted to go back in time, and saw no reason why He could have not made it happen either.
As recorded in my structured prayer journal on October 10, 2010, the Lord, wearied of my pleading I’m sure, opened my heart and mind to realize that He is The Restorer. He is a God of Restoration, and that is so much better than a do-over! That is such truth!!! If I were allowed to go back and correct my mistakes, God would never get the glory for restoring my life Besides, who really wants to go back and do all of that over again when we can simply rest in His restoration?
This is one of the things that I love about meditating over my life in prayer journaling. These are just some of the spiritual insights and updates to my forlorn prayers in life that describes how God likes to help us resolve things that linger.
Have you experienced a time when you were stewing over something only to have God present you with the perfect explanation and revelation???
Tomorrow, I will be sharing more from my experiences in prayer journaling.
I am participating in The Nester’s 31 Days of Writing. You can go here to keep up with my 31 day feature on structured prayer journaling.
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Award-winning author Gina Duke is a wife, mom and the Director of Women’s Ministry at her local church. With a B.S. in Organizational Leadership, she is able to bring a clear word for authentic Christian living. Through her book, “Organizing Your Prayer Closet: A New and Life-Changing Way to Pray” (Abingdon Press), she imparts 1 Peter 4:7 with the gift of structured prayer journaling. You may also follow her on Twitter and Instagram @TheGinaDuke.